In short: Spock is dead. No he isn’t. Kirk is dead. No he isn’t either. He’s demoted. Then promoted again. The Enterprise is savaged. Except it isn’t. Spock cries. Things explode. We go into warp speed. Boldly. Spock and Uhuru are an item. Interracial, interspecies love. The defense shields fail. Things explode. The evil Khan is bent on destroying whatever hasn’t as yet exploded. They explode.
After more than two hours of JJ Abrams’ latest quasi-movie videogame, you just long for the Klingons to kill ‘em all. I just wanted to be beamed out of there. Anywhere, where so many things weren’t mindlessly exploding